


Half His Soul

by ifonlyiwaswittier



Series: Unrelated Eruri [8]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Body Worship, Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Husbands, M/M, Marriage, Trans Character, Trans Erwin Smith, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 13:56:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15316956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifonlyiwaswittier/pseuds/ifonlyiwaswittier
Summary: Levi leans against the doorway to the kitchen to watch his husband, lips upturned in a small smile. It's Sunday again, another week gone by, but he can’t say he particularly minds. As they’ve gotten older together, Levi’s found that the passage of time isn’t nearly as scary if he’s passing it with Erwin.





	Half His Soul

**Author's Note:**

> Commission for the wonderful [@ackbang](http://ackbang.tumblr.com/) on Tumblr ([ @gouguruheddo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gouguruheddo) on here).
> 
> Thank you so much, this was honestly a dream to write.

The sound of Erwin’s socks patting down the hall had drawn Levi to the kitchen but it was the happy tune his husband was humming that compelled him to stay. Levi leans against the kitchen doorway, watching with a smile as the plush material of Erwin's robe brushes against the backs of his thighs, hips swaying a rhythmless shimmy as he takes the sponge and covers in what Levi thinks is entirely too much dish soap. It’s Sunday again, another week gone by, but he can’t say he particularly minds. As they’ve gotten older together, Levi’s found that the passage of time isn’t nearly as scary when he’s passing it with Erwin.

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Levi smirks. They’d learned a long time ago that until Erwin has had at least two cups of coffee, he’s barely a person. It didn’t take them long to decide they’re both much happier if they keep their distance until Erwin’s adequately caffeinated and signals it by washing his mug.

“Morning, honey." Erwin’s washing the “Congratulations Steve! Worcester State College Class of 1993” coffee mug they’d found in Florida when they had first started dating. Levi had broken not one, but two beach chairs and they’d gone to a Goodwill to replace them and left instead with a tragically specific mug and a Ronald McDonald bobblehead.

When they got back to the beach and realized they’d been distracted enough to buy things they most definitely could not longue on, Levi finally understood that he was falling for the biggest dork in the world. He couldn’t have been happier.

Even now, Levi marvels at how different his life was before he met Erwin. Those years seem distant, foreign, and it's almost hard for him to believe he used to watch from the nook by the refrigerator as his mom scrubbed at the sink, trying to erase nonexistent stains until the bleach made her knuckles bleed. Standing in the cozy suburban home he shares with his husband, he remembers her hands, her split lip, remembers how they must have hurt. As a child, he hadn’t understood that some hurts were worse than others and he’d always wait silently until Kuchel took a deep breath, sniffled loudly, and scooped him up.

“Oh, honey,” she’d whispered into the crown on his head. “I love you so much.”

Her arms tightened around him, his cheeks squished uncomfortably against her shoulder, but something told him not to squirm even though he didn’t understand why someone would make his mom so upset. When he tried to ask, she’d shushed him and said,

“Men are just full of shit.”

Levi has always agreed with his mom. Most men are full of shit. But Levi’s lucky enough to be in love with a guy who’s steady and true.

“What’s your plan for the day?” Erwin asks when he shuts the water off, turning and leaning against the counter. Levi grabs a terribly out of season Thanksgiving dish towel off the oven handle and gives it to Erwin, who dries his hands with a small _thanks_.

“Grocery shopping mostly,” he says. Erwin opens his arms to Levi, who nestles against his chest without thought. “And I need to get some work done in the garden but that can wait til it gets cool tonight.”

Erwin hums in agreement and rests his head on top of Levi’s. It’s nice, dependable. The hand running up and down Levi’s back is steady and warm through his thin tee shirt, and he feels safe in ways that he didn’t understand before meeting Erwin, that he thought he’d never understand when he watched his mom plaster holes in the walls made from blundering fists of burly men, when he’d learned to patch those holes himself.

But Erwin has never been like that. He meets Levi’s eyes with a gentle smile, his cheeks full and healthy from so many years of living together comfortably.

“Have I ever told you how much I love these?” Levi asks, drawing up a hand to place his thumb on the lines in the corners of Erwin’s eyes.

“My old man wrinkles?” Erwin grins. Levi nods. He likes how they show that Erwin spends a lot of time happy.

“Have I told you how much I love your nose?” Levi asks, hand tracing across his face and down the bridge, sharp and regal.

“I think you’ve called it big in the past does that- stop that tickles,” Erwin laughs, smiling even bigger as he curls away from Levi’s light touch.

“What about these,” Levi says, resting a hand on the back of Erwin’s neck to bring him closer. He brings their lips together, chaste and slow with the knowledge of time stretching far beyond them. “Have I told you how much I love you lips?”

“Maybe once or twice,” Erwin says into narrow pocket of air between them. “You’ll love them even more once you know what they can do,” he adds, bending lower to kiss the skin just above the collar of Levi’s tee shirt.

“I think you’ve shown me what they can do before,” Levi sighs, as Erwin moves to kiss the taut skin of his neck. Levi gasps, tilting his head back further, when Erwin nips just below his ear.

“A refresher couldn’t hurt.”

They make their way to the bedroom with the frantic ease of longtime lovers, Erwin’s hands on the hem of Levi’s shirt, at the drawstring of Levi’s pajamas, Levi’s on the belt of Erwin’s robe, parting the dark red material.

“What about this?” Levi asks, before he pushes Erwin against the wall. He brings his lips to Erwin’s jaw, the line that’s only gotten stronger with the years, and kisses it messily.

“Or this?” he asks, nipping at his sharp collarbone, his forehead brushing the robe off Erwin’s broad shoulder.

“Bed,” Erwin pants and Levi is quick to obey, leading the two of them bedroom. Levi nearly trips over a dirty shirt, pink with little blue flowers dotting the trim, and Erwin huffs a quick laugh.

“Sorry, forgot to pick it up last night,” he says as he lies down.

Levi isn’t sure what to say back. _I’m used to it_ , sounds too harsh and _just pick it up next time_ , is probably hopeless. Levi’s learned long ago that he’s more than okay with a bit of a mess if he gets to watch Erwin brush his teeth every morning.

“It’s okay,” he settles on, straddling Erwin. He’s beautiful and Levi wants to kiss all of him so he does, the blush high on his cheeks and the bump of his adam’s apple and the sweat in the dip of his collarbones.

“What about these?” Levi whispers, brushing his lips against the scar cross Erwin’s chest, barely there after so long healing. “Have I told you how much I love these?”

“Stop,” Erwin huffed, the sound laced with self-deprecation despite the smile on his face.

Levi knows Erwin like a piece of his own soul, would know him no matter the shape of his chest, no matter the sharpness of his jaw or the length of his hair or the depth of his waist. Levi would know him anywhere-- would love all of him, especially the parts that Erwin had fought for.

“I do,” Levi says. He can’t find words to capture depth of his devotion so he settles for kissing the scar again. “I love them because they’re yours.”

He lips travel further down, wandering hands close behind, making a trail to mark all the parts of Erwin he’s adored for decades through the changes of time and age and discovery, parts he’ll will continue to adore for decades more.

“And I love this,” the trail of fine blond hair running around his belly button.

“And this,” the little bit of softness he’s gotten around his middle since Levi took up baking.

“And this,” the inside of his thigh before his lips find a place where Levi doesn’t need words to show his devotion, praising the dips and folds between Erwin’s legs with his tongue until Erwin is trembling.

“Levi,” Erwin sobs when Levi finally sinks his cock in, the deep groan rippling through them both. Levi thrusts and Erwin meets him until they're both pulled thin, strung out on the need that runs taut between them after years of learning each others’ desires just as intimately as their own. With his hands and his cock Levi finds every spot that makes Erwin moan, the freely exchanged pleasures too much for the both of them, making their voices rise in chorus until there is no sound at all besides the panting of their breath, the soft sounds of lazy tender kisses as they lie together through the aftershocks.

When Levi pulls out with a moan, Erwin shifts until Levi is nestled against his chest, both arms holding tight. Long ago, Levi might have that he’s just fucked out, that normally he wouldn’t let Erwin hold him like this, but he can feel the Erwin’s heavy breathing fluttering his hair, feels a thumb brushing back and forth across his shoulder, and Levi’s spent enough nights comfortably nestled against Erwin to know that’s not the truth.

Neither of them have to say _I love you_ , the words themselves already too small to contain the roaring truth, but Levi grabs Erwin’s hand and says it anyway.

“Love you too, muffin,” Erwin sighs, pressing his lips to the side of Levi’s head.

They rest, the summer sun illuminating the lazy dust dancing in the narrow space between them. Levi lets Erwin hold him, his thoughts lazy too, until Erwin finally speaks.

“Are you hungry?” There’s a smile in his voice.

Levi pauses for a second, doing a mental inventory of what food they haven’t run out of. “Pancakes?”

“Sounds delicious,” Erwin says, getting up and throwing on his robe.

Sunday breakfasts had become an event for them over the years, a luxury of settling into a life where weekends weren’t swallowed up by hangovers or night shifts or prepping last minute funding proposals. It started as standing brunch meetup with all the longtime friends Levi had taken to calling The Veterans, but lately they’d been staying in, spending time making all the breakfast foods they never had time for during the week.

Levi wonders how he’d look back on these moments one day, if he’d ever have to. They’ve always moved around each other with wordless ease, Erwin flipping pancakes and Levi scrambling eggs, and Levi tries to catalogue the details of the moment in case there’s ever a day he doesn’t have this anymore: how he’d thrown on Erwin’s tee shirt not because he had but because he wanted to and the way it almost reached his knees, sweet kisses and lingering touches, Erwin’s vivid retellings of workplace drama and their unrestrained laughter when he accidentally set of their Alexa trying to explain some internet joke.

They still find each other distracting like they did in that Florida Goodwill in 1999 , even if the reasons have changed with time, but Erwin’s always liked his pancakes a little burnt so it works out fine.

It’s nearly noon by the time they settle onto the couch with their plates, some nature special on the ocean playing on the TV. They top their pancakes with whatever sugary things they had in the pantry and blueberries that are probably not bad yet, while seahorses swim around the screen.

“Hold on,” Erwin says, syrup dripping from the fork halfway to his mouth. “Pause it.” He leaves his food on the coffee table and rushes to the kitchen.

“Hurry up” Levi calls after him. “I wanna see what happens to that seahorse.” He can hear Erwin pushing things around in the fridge, even though he’s pretty sure there’s not much to push around considering how badly they need to go shopping.

“Do you know where the ketchup is?” Erwin yells from the kitchen. “Never mind, found it!”

Satisfied that he’s turned his scrambled eggs into ketchup with a side of scrambled eggs, Erwin clicks play and they eat in comfortable silence while the special on seahorses changes to a survival show about treehouses. Levi decides it’s time to watch the dishes when one of the contestants gets rushed to the emergency room for stubbing his toe but Erwin seems to really be enjoying the fierce debates over which hand-saws are most effective so Levi insists on doing it himself.

“The guy with the stubbed toe won,” Erwin reports when Levi returns to the couch, pulling his feet under him to lean further into Erwin’s side. “It was on a technicality though. The red head made her house with unapproved building materials.”

“But they made the rules so clear,” Levi says.

“I know,” Erwin scoffs and Levi smiles at the pure indignation in his voice.

In the plush cushions of their grey suede couch, they fall into each other gradually, naturally, limbs overlapping like they were never meant to be apart, Erwin’s head on Levi’s chest and Levi’s hand on Erwin’s hip. Reality television is cheesy and there are still errands to run but Levi had never stopped wondering where he really belonged until he was held in the safe harbor of Erwin’s arms so he’s content to spend the afternoon relaxing on the couch.

Apparently Erwin is too because he sighs gratefully. “I love spending time with you.” He pulls the two of them impossible closer. “You’re my best friend, Levi.”

Even after all these years, Erwin’s boundless affection still makes Levi’s breath catch in his throat. He blushes, hand finding Erwin’s and holding tight. He thinks of the home they’ve created together, trinkets and pictures and dirty laundry testifying to lives well lived, to the freedom from fear he’s found in the security of Erwin’s unwavering loyalty. He squeezes Erwin’s hand tighter, and though showing his adoration has become second nature over the years, his voice still wavers with emotions when he speaks over the din of a toothpaste commercial to say,

“I love you too.”


End file.
